F. Ross Johnson, the CEO of RJR Nabisco decides that the time is ripe to take over his own company and enlists American Express. This kicks off a tide of other firms swarming in to tender offers. The outline of the film follows the actual takeover of the RJR Nabisco empire in a tongue in cheek way.

1st Scientist:
[talking about the smokeless Premier cigarette survey] Well of all the people we surveyed the results were just about uniform


F. Ross Johnson:
Uh huh.


Edward A. Horrigan Jr.:
They all said they tasted like shit.


F. Ross Johnson:
Like shit?


2nd Scientist:
Shit was the consensus, yes sir.


F. Ross Johnson:
They all said that? Nobody liked them?


2nd Scientist:
Fewer than 5%


F. Ross Johnson:
You said the results were gonna be terrific


Edward A. Horrigan Jr.:
Well there's nothing wrong with 5%, Ross, I'll take 5% of the market anytime of the week


F. Ross Johnson:
How much are we into right now?


1st Scientist:
Right now?


F. Ross Johnson:
To date, to here, to now?


1st Scientist:
Upwards of 350.


F. Ross Johnson:
We've spent 350 million dollars and we come up with a turd with a tip? God almighty, Ed! We put enough technology in this project to send a cigarette to the moon and we come up with one that tastes like it took a dump?


Edward A. Horrigan Jr.:
We haven't even talked about the smell.


F. Ross Johnson:
Oh what did they say that was like? A fart?


Edward A. Horrigan Jr.:
Yep.


F. Ross Johnson:
Oh you're not serious! They really said that?


2nd Scientist:
We have an awful lot of fart figures.


F. Ross Johnson:
Tastes like shit and smells like a fart! Got ourselves one hell of a product on our hands it's one unique advertising strategy I'll tell ya that.