Movie Quotes

Gru:
[defeated by Vector] Oh, come on!


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Vector:
When I'm done with Gru, he's gonna be begging for mercy!


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Dr. Nefario:
We have to warn him, and FAST!

[starts driving on his moped very slowly]


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Gru:
We stole the Statue of Liberty...!

[the minions cheer]


Gru:
...the small one, from Las Vegas!

[the cheers stop]


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[from trailer]


Gru:
[to the girls] You will not cry, or sneeze or barf or fart! No annoying sounds.


Agnes:
Does this count as annoying?

[puckles her cheeks]


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[from trailer]


Gru:
We are going to pull of the TRUE crime of the century... we are going to steal the MOON!


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[from trailer]


Gru:
I shrink the moon, I grab the moon, I sit on the toilet bowl... what?

[sees a child's drawing in his plans, of himself sitting on a toilet bowl]


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Dr. Nefario:
Here's the new weapon you ordered.

[Shoots minion with the fart gun]


Gru:
No, no, no. I said DART gun.


Dr. Nefario:
Oh yes. Cause I was wondering... under what circumstances would we use this?


Gru:
Ok...


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Gru:
[to the girls] Did you brush your teeth?

[Takes a whiff]


Gru:
You did *not*!


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Edith:
It was your cousin's idea!


Dave the Minion:
*What*?


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Gru:
Do you speak Spanish?


Miss Hattie:
Do I look like someone who speaks Spanish?


Gru:
It's just that your face is so... Como un burro.


Miss Hattie:
Oh! Why, thank you!


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Gru:
Your dog has been leaving bombs in my yard.


Fred McDade:
Oh you know dogs... they go where they want!


Gru:
Not if they're dead.


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Gru:
[Explaining why the girls can't find their book "Three Little Kittens"] That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously...


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Gru:
You got to be pulling on my leg!


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Young Gru:
Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon.


Gru's Mom:
Eh.


Young Gru:
Look, Mom, I made a prototype of a rocket out of macaroni.


Gru's Mom:
Eh.


Young Gru:
Look, Mom, I built a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype.

[Fires rocket]


Gru's Mom:
[holds her breath in amazement for a moment] ... Eh.


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Young Gru:
Mom, someday, I'm going to go to the moon.


Gru's Mom:
I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore.


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Edith:
Can I drink this?


Dr. Nefario:
Do you want to explode?


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Vector:
Yeah! You done been shrunk!


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[repeated line]


Gru:
Light bulb!


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Vector:
[after shrinking toilet] Look at you, a little tiny toilet...

[toilet breaks, spraying water on Vector]


Vector:
Ah, curse you, tiny toilet!


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Miss Hattie:
I received a call that you want to return the girls. Also, I bought a Spanish dictionary.

[Hits Gru with dictionary]


Miss Hattie:
I didn't like what you said.


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Edith:
Are these beds made from bombs?


Gru:
Yes, but they are very old and are not likely to explode. But don't toss and turn.


Edith:
Cool!


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Gru:
I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet works


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Gru:
This is literature? A two year old could have written this!


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Agnes:
I like him. He's nice.


Edith:
He's scary.


Agnes:
Like Santa.


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Gru:
[the girls are knocking on his door] Go away, I'm not home!


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Mr. Perkins:
You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?


Gru:
Apparently.


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Gru:
I hate that guy.


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Agnes:
[singing] Unicorns, I love them. Unicorns, I love them. Uni uni unicorns, I love them. Uni unicorns, I could pet one if they were really real. And they are! So I bought one so I could pet it. Now it loves me, now I love it. La lala la la...


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Gru:
It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children.


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Agnes:
Aw. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.


Edith:
That's a Cheeto.


Agnes:
Oh.

[eats it]


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Edith:
When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like Annie.


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Edith:
Somebody broke that.


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Gru:
Uh, question. What are these?


Dr. Nefario:
A dozen boogie robots. Boogie! Look at this! Watch me.


Gru:
Cookie robots! I said cookie robots! Ah, why... why are you so... old?


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Agnes:
Pinkie promise?


Gru:
Oh yes, my pinkie promises.


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Agnes:
Just one more! I accidentally closed my eyes.


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Agnes:
Will you read us a bedtime story?


Gru:
No.


Agnes:
Pretty please?


Gru:
The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.


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Edith:
Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy!


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Gru:
[reading book] "Three little kittens love to play. They had fun in the sun all day. Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed'."

[looks up]


Gru:
Wow, this is garbage. You actually like this?


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Margo:
You gave us back.


Gru:
I know, I know, and it is the worst mistake I ever made.


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Edith:
Hey, that one looks like me.


Gru:
What are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental.


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Gru:
[reading the book he wrote] One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down. They made him laugh, they made him cry. He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he can never part from those three little kittens that changed his heart.


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Gru:
Bedtime now.

[girls groan in disappointment, followed by the minions]


Gru:
Not you two.

[minions cheer]


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Tourist Mom:
[pulls on the boy's leash] Justin!


Tourist Dad:
Look honey, take my picture, I have a pyramid in my hands.


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Agnes:
[re the stuffed unicorn] It's so fluffy, I'm gonna *die*!


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