Movie Quotes

Sherlock Holmes:
You've never complained about my methods before.


Dr. John Watson:
I'm not complaining. How am I complaining? When have do I ever complain about you practicing the violin at three in the morning, or your mess, your general lack of hygiene, or the fact that you steal my clothes?


Sherlock Holmes:
We have a barter system.

Inspector Lestrade:
In another life, Mr. Holmes, you would have made a excellent criminal.


Sherlock Holmes:
Yes, and you an excellent policeman.

Sherlock Holmes:
The game's afoot.

Sherlock Holmes:
[after being tossed across the room] Un moment, s'il vous plait.


Dredger:
[affably] Je ne suis pas pressé.

[first lines]


Sherlock Holmes:
[voice-over] Head cocked to the left, partial deafness in ear: first point of attack. Two: throat; paralyze vocal chords, stop scream. Three: got to be a heavy drinker, floating rib to the liver. Four: finally, drag in left leg, fist to patella. Summary prognosis: unconscious in ninety seconds, martial efficacy quarter of an hour at best. Full faculty recovery: unlikely.

Dredger:
Cour, petit lapin, cour.


Sherlock Holmes:
Avec plaisir.

Irene Adler:
Why are you always so suspicious?


Sherlock Holmes:
Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?

Sherlock Holmes:
You have the grand gift of silence, Watson; it makes you quite invaluable as a companion.

[Watson punches him in the face]

Sherlock Holmes:
[to Watson] Never theorize before you have data. Invariably, you end up twisting facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

Sherlock Holmes:
It's a matter of professional integrity! No girl wants to marry a doctor who can't tell if a man's dead or not!

Sir Thomas:
Mr. Holmes, apologies for summoning you like this. I'm sure it's quite a mystery as to where you are and who I am...


Sherlock Holmes:
As to where I am, I was, admittedly, lost for a moment, between Charing Cross and Holborn, but I was saved by the bread shop on Southford Hill. The only baker to use a certain French glaze on their loaves - a Brittany sage. After that, the carriage forked left and right, and then a tell-tale bump at the Fleet conduit. And as to who you are, that took every ounce of my not-inconsiderable experience. The letters on your desk were addressed to a Sir Thomas Rothman, Lord Chief Justice, that would be the official title. Who you *really* are is, of course, another matter entirely. Judging by the sacred ox on your ring, you're the secret head of the Temple of the Four Orders in whose headquarters we now sit, located on the northwest corner of St. James Square, I think. As to the mystery, the only mystery is why you bothered... to blindfold me at all.

[Lestrade brings Holmes, handcuffed, before the Home Secretary, Lord Coward]


Inspector Lestrade:
Excuse me, my lord. I know it's unorthodox, but he's been making the most dire accusations about you...

[Lestrade lifts his lapel, showing a membership pin from the Temple of the Four Orders]


Inspector Lestrade:
...and the Order, sir.


Sherlock Holmes:
Well, that solves the great mystery of how you were promoted to Inspector.

[Lestrade turns and punches Holmes in the stomach]


Inspector Lestrade:
Begging your pardon, my lord, but I've been wanting to do that for a long time.

Dr. John Watson:
[as he's choking Dredger into unconsciousness] Relax. I'm a doctor.

[in a bare-knuckle boxing match, Holmes sees Irene and tries to forfeit and leave]


Sherlock Holmes:
That's it, big man. You've won, congratulations.


McMurdo:
Oi, we ain't done yet!

[He spits at the back of Holmes's head. Holmes stops]


Sherlock Holmes:
[voice-over] This mustn't register on an emotional level...

[in slow motion]


Sherlock Holmes:
First, distract target...

[Holmes flicks a handerchief in front of his opponent's face]


Sherlock Holmes:
Then block his blind jab, counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate.

[Holmes claps his hands over his opponent's ears]


Sherlock Holmes:
Dazed, will attempt wild haymaker. Employ elbow block, and body shot. Block feral left, weaken right jaw, now fracture.

[a cross to the jaw fractures the bone]


Sherlock Holmes:
Break cracked ribs, traumatize solar plexus, dislocate jaw entirely.

[Two more body blows, and a right hook to the jaw hinge]


Sherlock Holmes:
Heel kick to diaphragm...

[Holmes finishes with a heel kick to his opponent's chest, sending him crashing out of the ring]


Sherlock Holmes:
In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemmorraging. Physical recovery: six weeks. Full psychological recovery: six months. Capacity to spit at back of head: neutralized.

[Back in real time, Holmes picks up the handkerchief, as though wiping the back of his neck, then does all of the foregoing in about six seconds, and kicks McMurdo out of the ring]

Sherlock Holmes:
And chamber maids were once such a liberal breed.


Constable Clark:
My wife's a chamber maid,sir.

[pause]


Constable Clark:
Besides, it's a good thing she was offended, sir. Otherwise we'd never have found you.


Sherlock Holmes:
Ah, yes.

[another pause]


Constable Clark:
Just joking about the wife, sir.

Sherlock Holmes:
There's only at one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings, they appear most... sinister.


Mrs. Hudson:
Tea? Mr. Holmes?


Sherlock Holmes:
Is it poisoned, Nanny?


Mrs. Hudson:
There's enough of that in you already.

Irene Adler:
I've never woke up in handcuffs before.


Sherlock Holmes:
I have. Naked.

Sherlock Holmes:
My mind rebells at stagnation. Give me work. Give me problems.

Sherlock Holmes:
Data, data, data. I cannot make bricks without clay.

Sherlock Holmes:
Ah, putrefaction!

[about Blackwood coming back from the grave]


Sherlock Holmes:
Have the newspapers got wind of it yet?


Constable Clark:
Well, that's what we're trying to avoid, sir.


Sherlock Holmes:
Certainly. What's the major concern?


Constable Clark:
Panic. Sheer bloody panic, sir.

Inspector Lestrade:
[finding Holmes standing in the center of a pentogram] Did the devil turn up?

Dr. John Watson:
You've been in this room for two weeks, I insist you have to get out.


Sherlock Holmes:
There is absolutely nothing of interest to me, out there, on earth, at all.


Dr. John Watson:
So you're free this evening?


Sherlock Holmes:
Absolutely.


Dr. John Watson:
Dinner?


Sherlock Holmes:
Wonderful.


Dr. John Watson:
The Royale?


Sherlock Holmes:
My favorite.


Dr. John Watson:
Mary's coming.


Sherlock Holmes:
...Not available.


Dr. John Watson:
You're meeting her, Holmes!


Sherlock Holmes:
Have you proposed yet?


Dr. John Watson:
No, I haven't found the right ring.


Sherlock Holmes:
Then it's not official.


Dr. John Watson:
It's happening. Whether you like it or not, 8:30, the Royale. Wear a jacket!


Sherlock Holmes:
You wear a jacket.

[Holmes picks up a gadget from the midget's workshop and it turns out to be a taser, that sends Dredger flying across the room, crushing another thug who has Watson pinned]


Dr. John Watson:
Holmes... what is that?


Sherlock Holmes:
Je ne sais pas.

[Mrs. Hudson starts to clear space for the tea tray]


Sherlock Holmes:
Don't touch. Everything is in it's proper place... as pre-usual, Nanny.

[on her way out, Mrs. Hudson notices the dog laying on the floor]


Mrs. Hudson:
Oh, he's killed the dog. Again.


Dr. John Watson:
[irritated] What have you done to Gladstone now?


Sherlock Holmes:
I was simply testing a new anesthetic. He doesn't mind.

[Holmes has been firing a gun into the wall]


Dr. John Watson:
Permission to enter the armory?


Sherlock Holmes:
Granted.

[He fires again]


Sherlock Holmes:
Watson, I am in the process of inventing a device which muffles the sound of a gunshot.

[He yells in pain as Watson opens the curtains, letting sunlight into the room]


Dr. John Watson:
It's not working.

Dr. John Watson:
No, not you, Mary and I. You are not...


Sherlock Holmes:
What? Invited? Why would I be not invited to my own brother's country home, Watson? Now you are not making any sense!


Dr. John Watson:
You are not human!

Dr. John Watson:
[Holmes points his violin bow at Watson] Get that out of my face.


Sherlock Holmes:
It's not in your face, it's in my hand.


Dr. John Watson:
Get what's in your hand out of my face.

Inspector Lestrade:
[From inside Blackwoods tomb] You took your time Holmes


Sherlock Holmes:
And on the third day...

[after being thrown across the room by the taser]


Dredger:
Un moment, s'il vous plait...

Governor:
Lord Henry Blackwood, you have been sentenced to death for the practice of black magic, the unholy murders of five innocent young women, and the attempted murder of a sixth. Have you anything final to say?


Lord Blackwood:
Death... is only the beginning.

[last lines]


Sherlock Holmes:
Case re-opened.

[on Moriarty]


Irene Adler:
Please don't underestimate him. He's just as brilliant as you are. And infinitely more devious.


Sherlock Holmes:
We'll see about that.

[Watson is sorting Holmes's un-read mail, in response to his demand for work]


Dr. John Watson:
Lady Radford reports her emerald bracelet has gone missing.


Sherlock Holmes:
[not looking up] Insurance swindle. Lord Radford likes fast women and slow ponies.

Sherlock Holmes:
[to Lord Blackwood] I wonder if they'd let Watson and me dissect your brain. After you hang, of course. I'd wager there would be some deformity that would be scientifically significant. In that way, at least, you could serve some kind of useful purpose.

Groundskeeper:
And when the dead walk... the living will fill these coffins.

Lord Coward:
How terrible is wisdom, when it brings no profit to the wise.

Sherlock Holmes:
[as he's fighting one of Blackwood's minions, calls out to Irene Adler] Woman! Shoot him! Now, please!

Palm Reader:
[reading Watson's palm] I see two men. Two men, like brothers, not in blood but in bond.

[Holmes is spying on Blackwood's sacrifice. A henchman tries to sneak up on him, but Watson grabs him and puts him in a hold]


Dr. John Watson:
I like the hat.


Sherlock Holmes:
Thanks, I just picked it up.


Dr. John Watson:
You remember your revolver?


Sherlock Holmes:
Oh, knew I forgot something. Thought I left the stove on.


Dr. John Watson:
You did.


Sherlock Holmes:
I think that's quite enough. You are a doctor, after all.

[Watson feels the henchman's pulse and lets him fall to the floor]


Sherlock Holmes:
Always nice to see you, Watson.

[a chambermaid enters Irene Adler's room and screams when she sees Holmes, handcuffed naked to the bed with a pillow covering his groin]


Sherlock Holmes:
Madam, I need you to remain calm. And trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow, lies the key to my release.

[the Maid screams again and runs out; cut to later in a carriage]


Sherlock Holmes:
Of course, she mis-interpreted my meaning entirely.


Constable Clark:
Naturally, sir.

Mary Morstan:
It does seem a little far-fetched, though. Making all these grand assumptions based on such tiny details...


Sherlock Holmes:
Well, that's not quite true, is it? In fact, the little details are by far the most important.

[Watson and Mary enter Baker Street to find Holmes hanging from a noose]


Dr. John Watson:
Don't worry, dear. Suicide is not in his repertoire. He's far too fond of himself for that.

[pokes Holmes sharply]


Dr. John Watson:
Holmes!


Sherlock Holmes:
[wakes up] Oh, good afternoon. I was just in the process of determining the means by which Blackwood survived his execution - clearing your good name, as it were - but it had a surprisingly soporific effect, and I found myself carried off into the arms of Morpheus like a caterpillar in a cocoon.

[to Mary]


Sherlock Holmes:
Good afternoon, dear. Oh, my, I think my legs have fallen asleep.


Dr. John Watson:
Get on with it, Holmes.


Sherlock Holmes:
Ah, yes. Well, cleverly concealed in the hangman's knot was a hook... oh, lord, I can't feel my cheeks. Shouldn't we continue this at ground level?


Mary Morstan:
John, shouldn't we help him down?


Dr. John Watson:
No, no, I hate to cut him off mid-stream. Carry on.


Sherlock Holmes:
Well, the hook attached to a harness which allowed the weight to be distributed around the waist and the neck to remain intact.


Dr. John Watson:
How did you manage it?


Sherlock Holmes:
I managed it with braces, belts and a coat hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is going, soon I'll be of no use to you at all.


Dr. John Watson:
Worse things have happened.

Sherlock Holmes:
There is a toxin, refined from the nectar of the rhododendron ponticus, infamous in the region of Turkey bordering the Black Sea for its ability to induce an apparently mortal paralysis. Enough to deceive even a medical mind as tenacious and well-trained as yours. It's known locally as...


Mary Morstan:
[noticing] What's wrong with Gladstone?


Sherlock Holmes:
...mad honey disease. Oh, he's just demonstrating the very effect I just described. He doesn't mind.