Putting together an awards show is a monumental task. Oscar, Emmy, Tony, Grammy, they've all had a lot of practice, and the result is a smooth-run, professional-looking program. But, the first show for each was probably a bit chaotic. This is the X-Rated Critics Organization (XRCO)'s first attempt at an awards show for the adult film industry. Chaos doesn't begin to describe it. Held in a showbar in West Hollywood on Valentine's Day, 1985, XRCO awarded fifteen "Heart-Ons" to actors, actresses, screenwriters, directors, theatrical films and direct-to-videos, and another three in an all-male category. An additional five Heart-Ons, with categories like "Lascivious Lesbian" and "Orgasmic Oral" went to participants in specific scenes. One Special Merit Award and the induction of five actors, five actresses, three film creators, and three films into XRCO's adult film Hall of Fame rounded out the program. So, how chaotic was it? One co-host arrived late. There was a three-hour power outage between presentations of the first and second awards, where as the other co-host explained, "The only thing working was the bar." Some of the scheduled participants left when the lights went out, prompting last minute rewrites and substitutions. Miscues and missed cues were the rule, but somehow they managed to pull it all together. Most of the proceedings are recorded here, minus the blackout and some of the acceptance speeches, interspersed with clips from the winner's films. It's a train wreck, but you can't not look.