Lou Peckinpaugh, the Cheap detective has entered a world that is half Casablanca and half Maltese Falcon. A parody of Bogart's films in which Lou goes through a series of scenes from the two movies trying to keep ahead of the police who think he killed his partner and find the black bird.

'Madeline Khan''s character uses 16 names: Denise Manderley, Wanda Coleman, Gilda Dabney, Chloe LaMarr, Alma Chalmers, Alma Palmers, Vivian Purcell, Carmen Montenegro, Diane Glucksman, Mrs. Danvers, Natasha Ublenskaya, Sophie DeVega, Mary Jones, Lady Edwina Morgan St. Paul, Norma Shearer, and Barbara Stanwyck. The name used most is Mrs. Montenegro.

Lou Peckinpaugh:
This signature's been tampered with. Your name isn't Denise Manderley, is it?


Mrs. Montenegro:
No. It's Wanda Coleman.


Lou Peckinpaugh:
Then why does your driver's license say Gilda Dabney?


Mrs. Montenegro:
I believe my life is in danger; that's why I've taken so many precautions. My real name is... Chloe Lamar.


Lou Peckinpaugh:
Well, thank you, Miss Lamar. I appreciate your honesty. Now can you tell me why you let yourself in with this passkey to search my office? What is it that you were looking for?


Mrs. Montenegro:
Uh, to be perfectly frank, your bathroom.


Lou Peckinpaugh:
I don't have any.


Mrs. Montenegro:
Yes! I found that out a little too late...


Lou Peckinpaugh:
All right, can we stop playing games now? It isn't Manderley, or Coleman, or Dabney, or even Lamar, is it? The initials on this handkerchief are A.P. - what does A.P. stand for?


Mrs. Montenegro:
Alma Chalmers.


Lou Peckinpaugh:
Chalmers begins with a C! This is a P!


Mrs. Montenegro:
Palmers. Alma Palmers.


Lou Peckinpaugh:
You give me the runaround one more time and I'm going to slap you around this office. I don't care what your name is any more. Just make one up, so I know what to call you!


Mrs. Montenegro:
Vivian Purcell.


Lou Peckinpaugh:
That's better.


Mrs. Montenegro:
Armen Montenegro. That's my last one, I promise!

Continuity: When Lou and Marlene are talking in his apartment, her scarf keeps changing position from surrounding her face to trailing down the back of her head.

Music by Louiguy
Lyrics by Édith Piaf
Performed by Eileen Brennan and others at Nix Place