Ike Graham, New York columnist, writes his text always at the last minute. This time, a drunken man in his favourite bar tells Ike about Maggie Carpenter, a woman who always flees from her grooms in the last possible moment. Ike, who does not have the best opinion about females anyway, writes an offensive column without researching the subject thoroughly. The next day, Ike gets fired by his publisher (and former wife), because he went too far and faked the facts, which real journalists don't do. Ike's only way back into the business now is to do a fact-based report on Maggie and her upcoming fourth wedding attempt, which Ike predicts to fail again. So, as he circles her like a vulture his prey-to-be, Maggie's opinion of Ike sinks below zero. Not only is Ike waiting for her to fail again but the whole town is poking fun at Maggie about her mistakes. But that is a point which Ike doesn't like.

In development for 10 years. Actors attached at various times: Geena Davis, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Michael Douglas, Demi Moore, Sandra Bullock, Ellen DeGeneres, Ben Affleck, T?a Leoni. Director Michael Hoffman was attached. Writers Elaine May and Leslie Dixon did unused rewrites.

Ike Graham:
Hey, don't knock drunks in bars! It means they're not out driving.

Errors in geography: USA Today is based in Arlington, Virginia, not New York City.

By David Borla and Chris Scianni
Performed by Dangerman
Courtesy of 550 Music by arrangement with Sony Music Licensing
Contains sample from "Pa Colombia" by C. Curet Alonso
Performed by Willie Colón
Courtesy of Fania Records